The Smiling Grape Company

A restaurant manager in London who marked up a bottle of Cloudy Bay Sauvignon Blanc five times the cost of the bottle has apologised.  “It was meant to be seven times”, he conceded.

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In New Zealand, the tourist authorities are evidently keen to cash in on Tolkien-mania and have brought out “The Lord of the Rings” range of wines. The Sauvignon Blanc is said to taste of elf’s pee and bilboberries, the Pinot Noir is reminiscent of the stench in the darkest pits of Mordor, whilst the Riesling aromatically resembles a Gollum‘s fart in a dragon‘s cave.

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Research at Davies University has determined that hoses firing Zinfandel are by far the most effective varietal means of dispersing unruly crowds. Test victims were said to feel a hot burning sensation and an overwhelming nausea. Italian police will still continue to use the more expensive and traditional guns of Amarone.

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A London wine merchant has brought out a revolutionary new wine catalogue with scratch and sniff smells instead of the customary tasting notes for the wines. Unfortunately, on the first print run, the coatings reacted with a chemical compound in the paper and the catalogue was later pronounced to be corked.

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An Australian clone has just been grafted on to a Burgundian. The result is said to be “painful” even though the recipient was lubricated with vegemite.

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It’s been called “the blend of blends”. A new English wine called Huxelseyvalreichenthurgau has been invented. The wine is described in a press release by the Association of English Winegrowers as “a real mouthful”.

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Californian scientists have finally found the perfect terroir after years of painstaking research. “It’s called France”, one said.

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Last night we celebrated being finalists at the 2008 Hunts Post Business Awards in St Ives - not bad for being in business for just 4 months!!  We were up for “Best Retailer of The Year” and “Best News Business of the Year”.  It was a fun evening and a good chance to network with other local companies.